MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A 35-year-old is behind bars after police say he abused his girlfriend and her two children in Binghamton.

“It’s really hard for people because abuse is actually a cycle and so it’s not bad all the time,” said Jordan Howard with the Family Safety Center.

Court records say Quinten Porter punched and choked the victim, choked her 12-year-old daughter and threw her 11-year-old son on the ground.

“It has an enormous impact on the children,” said Howard. “We know that children who grow up in a home where there’s violence, a third of them are going to grow up to become victim themselves and a third are going to become an abuser.”

Advocates say the presence of strangulation is the biggest predictor guns will be involved in the future.

Research shows after guns, strangulation is the second most common way victims are killed in domestic violence incidents.

WREG spoke with the victim, who was choked in this case, off camera.

She did what advocates say many victims do: She said it was her fault and this incident of violence wasn’t a big deal.

“Victims always blame themselves, and that’s heartbreaking to me because in their mind that really is what happened,” said Howard.

Advocates say victims need to realize it’s never their fault and that there are always resources available for them.